


I'll Never Say Goodbye (Always, Forever)

by iknow_write



Category: Hunger Games Series - All Media Types
Genre: Alternate Universe - Student/Teacher, F/M, Sexual Content, Teacher-Student Relationship
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-05-11
Updated: 2016-03-10
Packaged: 2018-03-30 01:55:02
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,995
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3918499
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/iknow_write/pseuds/iknow_write
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Peeta Mellark attends a friends' wedding and befriends a little raven-haired girl. He also sees the woman who ran away with his heart six years ago.</p><p>Loosely based on the prompt found on everlarkedalways.tumblr.com:</p><p>Student Katniss and Professor Peeta had a fling on her senior year in college. They unexpectedly meet at a friends' child's baptism a few years after -- with a 5 year old blue-eyed brunette tagging along Katniss.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

Peeta knew something was going to go off beam today. His neck is dripping with sweat as he sprints his way from the parking lot to the hotel. He’s late for his friend’s wedding ceremony, and he was hoping to at least make it to the reception so he can deliver his toast to the newlyweds.

  
“Five minutes, man. Yeah, yeah, I just – hold on a second.”

  
He clips his phone between his left ear and shoulder as he fumbles through the glass door of the hotel, balancing a cake box on one hand.

  
He makes his exit from the hotel lobby to the poolside area where the reception is being held – of course it had to be near a body of water, albeit a man-made one. After all, his friend Finnick and his wife, Annie, met on a triathlon match. He was setting the cake box down the dessert table when someone greets him with a playful punch on the shoulder.

  
“Too early for tomorrow’s wedding, motherfucker.”

  
Peeta shrugs as he faces his friend. “Hey, I don’t know, but the bride and groom for tomorrow’s wedding don’t mind their wedding cake being delivered a day early. I mean, better safe than sorry. Traffic gets too bad these days."

  
Finnick chuckles and welcomes him in a big hug. “Thanks for coming, man. You’re just in time, though. Annie’s friends prepared a program for this afternoon. It should start anytime soon, but feel free to help yourself at the buffet. The toast is not until when everyone’s a bit buzzed anyway.”

“Yeah, sure. I’m pretty famished after the long haul.” Peeta gives Finnick a firm handshake when Annie arrives and wraps her arm around Finnick’s back.

  
“They’re about to start. I’m pretty sure Peeta can keep himself entertained. We have a lot of beautiful single ladies in this party, after all.” She knowingly smiles at him.

  
“Hey, I’m not here for that. You two go ahead. You look stunning, by the way. Are you sure you married the right person?" Peeta wiggles his eyebrows at Finnick. They all burst into laughter.

  
“Alright, alright. Enough of that. I’ll see you later, man.” Finnick gives him a wave as Annie drags him to the presidential table. “And don’t you dare embarrass me!”

  
As Peeta begins to walk to an empty seat across the venue, he hears someone tap on the microphone. An eccentric-looking woman wearing a cornflower blue wig and a bejeweled sea-green dress begins to speak.

“Welcome, welcome. My name is Effie Trinket and I will be your host today as we celebrate the union of our dearest Finnick and Annie. Let us give our new Mr. and Mrs. Odair a warm round of applause.”

  
“Today, Finnick and Annie’s friends made a special program for everyone. We will celebrate love and new beginnings through the wonderful gift of music. May I please welcome on stage our first performer, little miss Willow.”

  
Peeta cranes his neck to see who the first performer is. He knows Finnick and Annie enough to be sure that everybody who gets involved in any way in such a special event is just as special to the couple, and he is curious to see who today’s performers are.

  
He was surprised to see a little raven-haired girl, probably aged four to five, making her way up the makeshift stage with an orange ukulele on her hand. She was wearing a periwinkle lace dress with a lopsided flower crown on her dark, wavy tresses – the flower girls’ uniform, he notes. The girl – Willow – adjusts the microphone to her height like she’s been singing on stage all her life.

  
“Mm-hhm,” She clears her throat on the microphone and introduces herself.

  
“Hi, I’m Willow. I’m singing this song as a gift for Uncle Finn and Aunt Annie.”

  
The girl adjusts her ukulele and starts strumming the chords.

  
“Wow.” Peeta mutters to himself. His jaw slackens when the girl started to sing along.

  
_I wanna make you smile_  
_Whenever you’re sad_  
_Carry you around_  
_When your arthritis is bad_  
_All I wanna do is grow old with you_

  
Aside from the audible sighs and cheers of admiration that erupted among the crowd after the first few lines, everybody has stopped to listen to the raven-haired girl. Clearly Annie and Finnick’s friends knew how to get everyone’s attention with the first number. Peeta himself couldn’t help but be entranced by her angelic voice. Suddenly, a tall and broody raven-haired man stands beside him to take photos of the girl. He sees him smiling as he checks the photos on his phone.

“She has a beautiful voice.” Peeta tells him.

“Yours?” he asks.

  
“Oh, hey, uhm, no.” The tall man chuckles as he continues to snap photos. “Actually…God I hope so.”

  
“Oh, sorry, it’s just…the resemblance, is all.” Peeta blurts out, in case he had offended the man in any way.

  
“No, it’s okay. Just the hair color. Wait until you meet her mother.” He nods to the direction of the stage. Peeta tries to look the same way, and his eyes fall on a short-haired brunette that looks nothing like the girl.

  
Their attention focuses back on Willow as the crowd begins to clap in tune to the chorus of the song.

  
_I’ll miss you, kiss you_  
_Give you my coat when you are cold_  
_Need you_  
_Feed you_  
_Even let ya hold the remote control_  
_So let me do the dishes in our kitchen sink_  
_Put you to bed if you’ve had too much to drink_  
_It would be so nice_  
_Growing old with you_  
_I wanna grow old with you_

Peeta claps along with the cheering crowd. Willow mutters a shy “Thank you.” And makes her way down the stage. Peeta was pleased when the girl went to their direction to run into the man’s arms.

  
“Uncle Gale!”

  
The man – Gale – lifts her up easily and tries to fix her flower crown.

  
“Hey there, Pillow. Great job!” Willow’s lips turn into a shy smile.

  
“Pillow?” Peeta asks.

  
“Her nickname. From her mom.” he replies. “Hey, Dolly, say hi to…”

  
“Peeta. Peeta Mellark. Nice to meet you, little songbird.” Peeta lightly touches the tip of her nose. Willow wrinkles her nose into a tiny scowl.

  
“Sorry about her sunny personality.” Gale chuckles as he puts Willow down. Peeta sees her hopping to the play area of the reception.

“One of the many things she got from her mother. Aside from the hair color and the singing.”

  
“No worries, she’s a kid. It can change.”

  
“If she’s anything like her mother, that’s kind of impossible. It’s Hawthorne, by the way.” Gale offers his hand to him.

  
“I’m sorry?”

  
“Hawthorne. Gale Hawthorne.”

  
“Oh, yeah. Are you…a relative of the newlyweds?” Peeta asks as he tries to remember where he has heard the surname before.

  
“A co-worker of Annie. How about you?”

  
“Finn’s my childhood friend.” He replies. A phone rings and Gale excuses himself.

  
“Sorry, man, but can you keep an eye on Willow while I take this call outside?”

  
“Yeah, sure.”

  
“Thanks.” Gale walks to the door to the hotel lobby as Peeta sits down a chair where he can see Willow from a distance. He looks over the stage to see a four-piece band playing a medley of love songs. Peeta was trying to make out the title of the current song when Willow plops down the seat beside his.

  
“Jesus, you’re such a quiet girl. I didn’t hear you coming. Almost gave me a heart attack right there.” Peeta jokingly clutches to his chest while smiling at the child. Willow’s lips give away a small smile.

  
“That’s better. You’re even prettier when you smile.” Peeta tells her.

  
Willow shifts on her seat. Peeta notices how the girl looks longingly at the play area.

  
“Would you like to go back and play?”

  
Willow shakes her head and buries her chin on the collar of her dress.

  
“Okay. Do you want to wait for your Uncle or your mom here?”

  
She nods.

  
“How about we get pens and papers from there and we sketch on the table?”

  
Willow looks up to him and nods. The two of them walk to the play area. People are still buzzing around, and Peeta sees some familiar faces but doesn’t stop to chat with them. Peeta was only a few steps away from the play area when a tiny hand tugs his pants. Willow hides behind him as a blonde-haired girl approaches them.

  
“Is he your Daddy?”

  
A taller girl strides to them and pulls the other girl away.

  
“He’s not. Willow doesn’t have a Daddy!” the girls laugh mockingly in unison.

  
Peeta feels Willow tug his pant leg even more.

  
“Hey, baby. Don’t be scared of them.” Peeta says as he turns around and picks up Willow. “Daddy will pick out crayons for you, okay?” he says a bit loudly.

  
The kids fall silent, and the taller girl stares at them with a gaping mouth. Willow stares at him intently, tears threatening to run down her cheeks. Peeta makes his way to the kiddie table, still holding Willow in his arms. He picks several crayons and a few pieces of paper, and paces back to their table. Peeta fails to notice when the girl rested her head on his shoulder and wrapped her arms around his back.

  
“Hey, it’s okay.” He says as he rubs her back. Peeta starts to feel for the little girl in his arms. _Is her father dead? Or did he leave her? Was she at least able to meet him? Did her mom single-handedly raise her?_ Peeta begins to feel both pity and admiration towards the girl’s mother. Whoever she is surely did a great job raising such a talented and beautiful girl by herself. Peeta thinks he would be proud of Willow if she was his daughter.

  
They were halfway to their table when a voice rang through the microphone.

  
“Hi, everyone. I hope you’re having a wonderful time.”

  
_It can’t be._ Peeta thought. His limbs turn numb when he hears the voice again.

  
“I’d like everyone to know that I’m here in front of you because one booze-filled winter night, I lost a bet to Annie. I bet that Finnick will propose to her on a summer day, but he went ahead and proposed to her that same winter. Traitor.”

  
There she is, the raven-haired girl who vanished with his heart six years ago. Peeta almost drops the crayons and papers in his hand. He shouldn’t be surprised. He had a strange feeling about coming here, after all.  
Katniss Everdeen has blossomed from being an awkward college freshman to the confident young woman that is on stage in front of him. She’s still beautiful, he thinks. She almost looks the same as six years ago. She still wears her signature side braid, but Peeta feels that there’s certainly something different about her now.

  
“So please excuse my voice, and I hope you continue to have a wonderful day. Annie, Finn, this is for you.”

  
_No excuses_ , Peeta thought. Her voice has always captivated him from the moment he heard her singing to herself as she waits for her classmates to arrive in his class. From then on, every sound that came from her lips was his poison -- from her singing voice to the tiny whimpers of “ _Peeta, please._ ” and " _Yes, yes, yes,_ " that escape her as she unravels underneath him.

  
Katniss begins to play the piano. Peeta still can’t believe his eyes. Suddenly, memories from six years past came rushing back to him. Peeta feels Willow shift in his arms as Katniss starts to sing.

  
_Say goodbye_  
_Why I can barely say goodnight_  
_If I can hardly take my eyes from yours_  
_How far can I go_

When she entered his class on the second semester of that school year, the first thing Peeta noticed was the unfathomable scowl that was drawn on her face. It seemed to him that she was one of those freshmen who ran out of slots to other General Education courses and ended up with his boring writing class instead. But there was something to her that made him…curious. A few classes afterward, Peeta found it hard to veer his blue eyes away from the silver eyes of Katniss Everdeen.

_Walk away_  
_The thought would never cross my mind_  
_I couldn’t turn my back on spring or fall_  
_Your smile least of all_

The first time he saw her smile was when he returned her short story with a high remark. Katniss Everdeen may be quiet and withdrawn, but she certainly had the gift of the written word. She wrote lyrical prose, and reading them felt like hearing her sing them. Peeta soon found himself hanging out with her in the shelter of the night to discuss their latest reads or writing seeds, and later on, to whisper prose onto each other’s skins.

_When I say always_

“Stay with me.” She asks him when he tries to slip away while she sleeps at night.

_I mean forever_

“Always.” He’d tell her before she falls back to sleep in his arms.

_I trust tomorrow as much as today_  
_I am not afraid to say_  
_I love you_

“I love you.” He’d told her one day when she attempted to make him breakfast and ended up burning everything. She had a panic attack in her bath afterward, slipping into a catatonic state, her silver eyes vacant. She had told him before that she never wants to fall in love.

_And I promise you_  
_I’ll never say goodbye_

“Katniss, I got the grant!” He excitedly told her over dinner a few days before the summer break. “I leave in two weeks.” He made sure to bring Katniss to a lavish restaurant that night. He told her that afternoon he had some news to tell, and she said she something to tell him, too.

  
He was too excited to take notice that the tears that were brimming in her eyes were not exactly tears of joy.

  
“Let’s celebrate, then.” She said.

  
When they went back to his apartment that night, Katniss pleasured him leisurely, deeply. There was no rushing, no chasing of each other’s release.

_How could I ever say goodbye_

It was only the week after, when Peeta has not heard from her since that night, that he realized that Katniss wasn’t having sex with him that time – she was making love to him, for the first time.

She was saying goodbye.

Peeta is snapped back to the present when he hears her speak again.

“Thank you and congratulations again, Finn and Annie. I wish you happiness in your married life, always. And I know I’m not the only one hoping to see a little Finn and little Annie soon.” The crowd laughs. “My daughter will surely appreciate another playmate anyway.” She smiles.

  
_Daughter_. Katniss has a child. Peeta looks around to find any beaming man with a little girl in his arms, but there wasn’t any. Maybe Katniss’ daughter is still a baby that needs to be left behind at home. Maybe her husband was taking care of their child, he thought.

  
Katniss makes her way down the stage and walks to the presidential table to give hugs to both Finnick and Annie. Willow suddenly wiggles from his arms. When he puts her down, Willow dashes to the direction of the stage – no, to the table – and buries herself behind Katniss’ legs.

  
Katniss turns around to face the child and her lips turn up into a smile. Peeta was frozen on his spot. Katniss seems to be talking to Willow when the child points to his direction. Katniss looks his way and stares at him with a pallid face. For the first time in almost six years, silver eyes locked with blue – only this time, another pair of blue eyes are looking directly into his.


	2. Author's Note

Hi, everyone!

So it took me almost 10 months, several panic attacks, two out of the country trips, a mentor's death, and a major heartbreak to finally post an Author's Note updating you guys about this fic.

To answer the most FAQ:

YES, I am continuing this.

And yes, real soon. I'm just leaving for someplace this March, but the update will come as soon as I come back in April. I might even post some drabbles here and there.

I am truly sorry that I failed to keep my writing habit in check. I feel sorry not only for myself but also for those who said they will wait for me. I know the feeling of finding a fic and waiting too long for updates, believe me. And now I understand what those other writers on hiatus feel like.

As cliché as it is, life -- well, shit -- happened. Since around mid 2015 I've been through the most difficult times of both my work and personal life -- and it took one major heartbreak early this year to push me back to facing that dreaded blank page, as another way of clearing my head (I'd like to thank JLalaFics for encouraging me to write again -- I told her about this heartbreak anonymously on tumblr and told her she inspires me to write again.).

I also got stuck in a vicious cycle of thinking this story isn't going anywhere. I've read the first chapter numerous times since and I've found myself cringing at my own writing at times (yikes). But I think I've found Katniss and Peeta again (or maybe they found me and are trying to pull me out of the pit I've been hiding in all this time).

I hope some of you are still with me. I know I will still struggle with this next chapter, and I have a feeling it will fall short of expectations, but I want to give this another try.

See you soon. Drop hellos below :)

-W


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